FRAILTY

THE REALIZATION OF AGE

The photo above is not me; it is Walter at ninety-eight, a man who lived the good life and ran the race. Walter convinced me I could walk a marathon. I was seventy when I walked my first marathon, three years have passed, and I have not walked a mile. Why? The use of my time and wrong priorities is why I have not walked daily for a long time. If I fill my time with an overabundance of to-dos, then there is little time for my care and feeding. The words daily regiment, schedule, and format for time efficiency go against a loose life, the life I loved to live in my youth. As time passed, I noticed my slowing life, and time got real. I am walking the hill slower than I used to. Lifting a forty-pound bag of water softener salt is a grunt. I can only do the things I used to do slowly, or at least I need to do them in smaller chunks.

God has blessed me with a long life already. Many of my younger friends and family have passed, and I remain. There must be a reason, a task, or a mission that needs completing that I live. Figuring that mission out is my main objective this day because time is running short. I am thankful for every day God has blessed me, yet I remorse the time I wasted in my youth. Regret does nothing to collect the lost time. Regret is useless; it is wisdom fodder, the lesson learned applied to wisdom honed by God into proper understanding.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.—James 3:17

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.—James 1:5

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.—Proverbs 19:20

I have known many intelligent people who cannot tie their shoes. The difference between intelligence and wisdom is the teacher. Wisdom can only be acquired by a relationship with God and acceptance of His teaching. That’s wisdom. Wisdom is the polar opposite of arrogant intelligence.

The past three years have been exercising my heart, mind, and soul. Time talking to Jesus in prayer, time in God’s Word, journalling, writing essays, photographing beauty, and telling good-news stories on YouTube. It is my search for wisdom. Wisdom and staying young cannot happen. Eventually, the body gives out before the mind. I think I am still young, yet the evidence is a daily look in the mirror. I fight against frailty by staying busy working to sweat out the age: working in the garden, planting trees, mowing the lawn, and doing construction projects. But the time they take to accomplish is growing as I am slowing.

I regret allowing all these to-do’s to keep me from daily walking and stretching. I may need to take up Yoga and Ti Chi. All of these good things cannot arrest the dying light—we all die eventually, some of you when we are old—we all have an expiration date. I do not feel I must rage against the dying light, but I must complete the race and win the crown of Christ.

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.—2 Timothy 4:7-8

Do not go gently into that good night

Dylan Thomas

1914 –1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,

 Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

 Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

 Because their words had forked no lightning they

 Do not go gentle into that good night.

 Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

 Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

 Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

 And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

 Do not go gentle into that good night.

 Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

 Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

 Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 And you, my father, there on the sad height,

 Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

 Do not go gentle into that good night.

 Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

As a boy, I asked my grandfather, “Gramps, do you think of dying more than living when you get old?” I know the answer, and death is always on my mind, not because of fear but because of a desire to complete God’s plan for my life. To fulfill the goal that God made for me before time existed:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.—Jeremiah 29:11-12

If I have run the good race and completed the work God has set for me, I can be content to pass my life light to others and die knowing it. If I have wasted my time in selfish ambition, I know I will fight the dying light in fear and desperation. I have witnessed both types of death the desperate and fearful and the content and anxious to be with Christ.

For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.—Philippians 1:21

The first thought in my mind this morning was, “Trust God.” The morning’s idea of trust in God flowed from the night’s dream. In this dream, I could not control or fix anything; I could not drive the darkness out of me with good deeds; only God’s light can take away the darkness within me. I can do nothing without Him, but I can do everything in Christ.

I am becoming frail and pressed to finish the race before age overcomes me. Until age overtakes me, I shall, pray, read God’s word, witness telling good-news stories as I write, photograph, produce videos, and work on the projects I can work on. Thank You, Lord, for giving me the time to correct my path, redeem my life and finish the race.

Amen